Man Up

Whether you’re a teen male leaning towards manhood, or a man still growing up, regardless of which, we can all agree that maybe once, or once too many times, someone has or will put us on check, when they utter the words MAN UP!.

We’ve heard it from our families, our homeboys, and even our female companions. We’ve been told to suck it up, don’t be a punk, move on, do the right thing, etc., etc., etc. If you’re like me, then the worse of these moments has to be when a female tells you to the face that you have to man-up. I don’t know about you, but when it comes from a woman, my pride gets hurt and I shift into defense mode. Let’s face it, these are fighting words, and regardless of who says it, to be told to MAN UP never sits well with us men. It touches a nerve we don’t like having disturbed. It challenges the very core of our manhood, machismo and not to mention this I’m the boss image chip on the shoulder a lot of us carry around.

So why do these two words bend us out of shape? Well, let’s look at a common definition for the expression:

Man up is (Idiomatic) to "be a man about it"; to do the things a good man is traditionally expected to do, such as: taking responsibility for the consequences of one's actions; displaying bravery or toughness in the face of adversity; providing for one's family, etc.

Based on our definition above, we can safely say that there is a system of prescribed conduct or behavior that is expected from us, which identifies us as part of the human species called man. Accordingly, this says we’re supposed to be accountable, dependable and truthful not only to ourselves but to others, and nothing about our physical endowment or prowess.


As I reflect upon the times when confronted with this demand to man-up, it didn’t become clear until later years why I was so resentful. Simply put, I was being told the truth about myself; that I was failing to step up to the plate as a man who is suppose to be acting responsible and trustworthy. It’s like this, when we enter manhood we must understand and accept the fact that we will inherit this thing called responsibility. It’s a no brainer when we’re kids because we are the responsibilities of another; however as men it makes all the difference. You see, whether nurtured or not, responsibility is there waiting to be transferred and developed in us. We can run and hide which many of us have and still do when we recognize its requirements, or we can try to deny or pass it on. Unfortunately for you and me it won’t go away it’s yours, and it’s mine to keep. All of mankind must possess it, and it must have its way.


That’s why the Word of God tells us in 1 Corinthians 13:11 “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.”


Many of us have difficulties in our lives as men, and surely there are a multitude of reasons that explain our individual circumstances and how we respond to them, but as men we are required to make right choices not only for ourselves, but for others around us. Every decision we make should be made with the understanding that it is for the greater good. Sure we’re not perfect and we will make mistakes and bad choices, but as men we exhibit our manhood by accepting the consequences and making every effort to correct and avoid a reoccurrence.


So the next time someone tells you to man-up, take a moment to check yourself before you react and respond, it may be possible that you side stepped a responsibility unknowingly or intentional – keep in mind its only truth knocking at your door.






Anthony Adorno